Still in hiding here folks.

I’ve since moved on to a place where nobody will find me, under the desk in the now-vacant office of the VP Welfare. From Wednesday I shall move to the Gown office and take up comfortable residence there as the Gown Team are suspended by Union management. The Press Complaints Commision is on my back over the supposedly infamous ”rubdown” comments – caught under the Kearney desk might mean a 6 month stretch in Maghaberry. Regardless, it’s not easy casting a sceptical sideways glance in a sub-desk office exile (unless you want me to tell you the craic about Barry Duffy’s lower half), though The Gown team’s clever cup and string contraption gave me a pleasant muffled way into today’s hustings.

I’m not the only one amused at some of Possible Prizzle McGrizzle’s alliances this election-tide, but his constant references to ”having the Continuity behind him?” If he keeps up his “over-committed” approach, he might even garner some Real support. Opponent Dan Critchlow might have cringe-inducingly compared himself to the Dark Knight (brooding, swooping guardian of the fees cap, Baterang-ing Gregson out of his ivory tower of evil?) but Griz is no Joker for sure. Lucky, really. Those making a bid for comedy died on their arses magnificently. Greg McLarnon’s joking heckle of a statement from the absent Grace Lynch? Redpath’s smiling confession to a post-lunch crowd (candidates, lackeys and Gownies, really, not a crowd) that he was going commando? Not half as funny as Fionnuala McKenna pretending to know anything about what a VP Education actually does.

Did anyone else notice Stephen Connolly’s attempts to derail Fiona Kidd’s policies? First he snidely retorts by telling us he wouldn’t endorse any student being on Facebook when they were supposed to be working on an essay. Then in his closing statement he mentions how he noticed the popularity of the “Queen’s Library Situation is a joke” Facebook group, which I know peaked in popularity during exam time. Adam McGibbon needn’t install a flip-flop machine in the Union; it already has one in the marketing department.

The man with the initials W.A.R seemed to be walking the Redpath alone as his diverse support drifted off, with round seven of the hustings seeing the pantsless speaker battling Jay Downs for the community post. Perhaps the Conservative/Unionist running on a GAA ticket with a Red-plastered poster had finally managed to alienate just about everyone. And the slogan, “The future’s bright, the future’s Redpath?” Yikes. I suppose the fact the trademark for that gem rests with Orange counts as a subliminal ploy to win back drifting Unionist support.

I’ve all but made up my mind which candidates will be getting my number ones. Others will be getting my number twos, directly through their letterboxes.

As an aside, assembled Gownies made sure to goad the almost universally detested News Editor Lorcan, noting how comfortable he looked in a seat just vacated by Shane Brogan…

And finally, Hood would like to give a birthday shout out to Chuckle Brother Paul Lilly, who turns 12 today. Partner Barry is almost surely planning a suitably slapstick scheme to mark the occasion.