Alex Redpath, a Unionist and unsuccessful candidate on the law-GAA ticket in the recent student election, has confirmed today that he is assisting Gerry Adams with his new book. Adams is determined to prove, once and for all, that he has never been a member of the IRA and he believes Redpath is the man to help him.

BY MARK DAVENCOURT

UPDATE: April Fool.

The release of Ed Moloney’s book has heaped more pressure on Adams, with further evidence which suggests that he was indeed an influential member of the IRA. It is thought that Redpath’s recent affiliation with the GAA is what prompted Adams to invite him to be a collaborator. Sources close to the pair say that they have been attending hurling matches together in West Belfast. Senior Sinn Féin members are worried that this alliance is a sham on which Redpath is using to simply build his political profile. The pair were last seen standing on the sidelines in Casement Park waiting for a helicopter to bring them to Dublin for secret talks.

In related news, The Gown’s own Brendan Hughes has put an end to week-long speculation that he is a former IRA commander, stating, “Sure, I may have played Jean Valjean in Les Miserables, but that’s the closest I’ve ever come to rebelling against the crown.”