The QUB Crèche Arts Week came to a close last Friday with a staging of Tennessee Williams’ classic ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’. Directed by Samantha Gold (age 6½), this is her debut play.

BY BRYAN CYGNETT

PS. April Fool!

I’m no stranger to tots’ productions. Last autumn I was very fortunate to see Peter O’Toole’s grandson in a Montessori matinee playing Hamlet. This was a very well received occasion and showed how a cast and crew, no older than 8 years old, can stage a play with the utmost professionalism. The same could not be said for last Friday nights’ catastrophe in the crèche’s toy-room.

Many of QUB’s proud alumni’s offspring have cut their teeth at its crèche. It was here that Seamus Heaney’s daughter was taught her first nursery rhyme and it is where Liam Neeson’s son starred in his first nativity. All of the above would be burying their heads in the sand if they could see the lifeless approach its current student body are making towards Arts Week.

Words cannot do justice in saying how terrible the chemistry between the actors was. The decision to cast Vicky Sweeney (5¾) as Blanche was a highly questionable one. It could be argued that her slight lisp endeared her to the audience but she was simply too overweight and clumsy to carry herself with all the grace Vivien Leigh brought to the role in some of the more demanding scenes. Jimmy Casey (5), as Mitch, tripped over many of his lines and some props. He also looked visibly disgusted when directed to hold hands with his co-star Sweeney. At one point Stella, played by Debbie Tibbot (6 ¼), fell asleep and missed her cue.

The one saving grace was Kevin McGrath (5 ½) who brought a frightening new intensity to the character of Stanley. His burbling cry of “Stella!” gave the audience goosebumps and the climactic confrontation with Blanche saw many parents reach for their phones to dial child services.

But even this young powerhouse was not enough to rectify an otherwise abysmal enactment. Director Samantha Gold should quit while she’s behind.