Birdemic: Shock and Terror is the micro-budget tale of a young couple’s struggle to survive when their home town is attacked by a flock of killer birds. Written, directed and produced by amateur James Nguyen, the film has attained cult-status on the internet for its awfulness, but is it really that bad?
BY CONNELL LOCKE
www.queensfilmtheatre.com
Within the vast good-bad spectrum of film quality, there lies a weird nether region containing movies which are so bad, they are good. In this mysterious space a director’s sincerest intentions implode, leaving a glimmering jewel of unintentional comedy gold amidst the wreckage. Identifying these movies, and distinguishing them from simple guilty pleasures or movies that are just bad, can be controversial.
This leads us to the latest “so bad it’s good” internet sensation. Birdemic: Shock and Terror, was shown at a special event in the QFT on Saturday, so that the curious could make up their minds. Birdemic is the micro-budget tale of a young couple’s struggle to survive when their home town is attacked by a flock of killer birds.
Expectation was high, and Birdemic sets the bar low immediately. In the opening scene the male lead, Rod, walks stiffly into a diner, spies an attractive girl (Nathalie), and follows her outside where they exchange business cards. It sounds innocuous, but so much is wrong in these opening minutes it beggars belief. Wooden acting, atrocious dialogue, and above all, bizarre editing makes the film look and sound like it was composited together from a dozen different sources. Birdemic continues in this way throughout the whole 90 minutes, a feat that first evokes amusement, then amazement.
There is no plot to speak of; the first 40 minutes is a diabolical attempt at character development and romance. Then, without any foreshadowing, warning, or reason, a swarm of CGI eagles, which appear to have been rendered by a Nintendo 64 console, attack the city. The film immediately changes direction, as the two-dimensional terrors maim passers-by and inexplicably burst into flames as they crash into buildings.
Awoken by the commotion and trapped in a motel, Rod and Nathalie join forces with another couple, and together they fight their way past static formations of hovering birds using coat hangers, to reach a van and escape. As with all of Birdemic, words cannot do this pivotal scene justice, the acting and special effects are extraordinarily bad.
For the remainder of the movie the quartet drive aimlessly around the countryside, occasionally attempting to rescue people, and fending off intermittent bird attacks, in a string of absurd set pieces. As in every survival horror flick, the group’s numbers shrink as they are picked off in memorably bad death scenes. Eventually, out of food, water and ammo, both the characters and the audience are spared by the eagles’ spontaneous and unexplained departure. Roll credits, cue sarcastic applause.
No words can adequately describe the nonsensical awfulness of this film; it really has to be seen to be believed. I honestly can not think of a single redeeming quality, or any instance where the spectacle was anything other than a train wreck. At first I laughed along with everyone else at the screening, but then a deeper realisation dawned. Birdemic isn’t “so bad, that it’s good”, ‘Birdemic: Shock and Terror’ is so consistently bad, that it is literally the worst film I have ever seen.