It’s that time of year again when inhabitants of Hollywood feast on diets comprising solely of green food, the sofa is substituted for the sun-bed, colonic irrigation becomes as frequent as yoga and dozens of identical statuettes are frantically polished gold. For the 83^rd year, Hollywood’s finest gather to honour the most talented, unique and deserving of the acting calibre. This year, a stammering king, a technology phenomenon and a disturbed ballerina are characters in the biggest drama of all: the Oscars.

BY CATRIONA BURNS

Organisers of the ceremony stipulate that the academy encourages excellence in filmmaking through a range of coveted awards, with the statuette a “symbol admired around the world – acknowledging the very highest level of achievement, every form of Academy recognition, be it a certificate, plaque or other form of trophy, carries significance like none other in the world of movies.” However, to what extent does the Oscars represent cinematic achievement and how much has it come to symbolize other more secondary matters over the years?

With celebrity culture becoming something of a phenomenon, focus is frequently diverted from on-screen dramatics to real life scandal. This year, attention will be generated towards two characters more hot-headed, outlandish and temperamental than any fictitious character on-screen. They are Harvey Weinstein and Scott Rudin, producers of two of the year’s most successful films, The Kings Speech and The Social Network. Both highly successful, both revered as two of the most accomplished producers of modern times, likewise both are widely feared for their infamous tempers and fits of hysterics. Competition is rife with these two producers: films that Weinstein or his companies have been involved with have won 63 Oscars whilst Rudin has had 13 Academy Award successes for his films. With the likelihood of the Oscar being awarded to one of these productions, a brawling scene of jealously, rage and ego-mania will inevitably constitute as the fight scene in the Oscar dramatics as it seems improbable that either of these candidates would comply with the accepting nod of the head, clapping and smiling graciously losing Oscar etiquette.

The speeches are perhaps the most highly anticipated or, in many cases, the most dreaded, element of the Oscars extravaganza. A-list stars gushing endlessly about their director, parents, the guy from Starbucks, their grandparents who couldn’t make it and the irreplaceable Bob the fish…essentially celebrities exhibiting their true idiotic selves, is cringing entertainment at its very best. The speeches act as a collage of dramatics: tear-jerking, funny, moving, political – every emotion the recipient can articulate amidst the spasms of uncontrollable sobbing and the sound of award music ushering the rambling idiot off the stage and back to their therapist. 2011 will only be the second year the committee has enforced the 45 second limit on the speeches, eliminating what co-producer Bill Mechanic termed as “the single most hated thing on the show.”  Predicted best actor winner, Colin Firth will undoubtedly deliver a speech of wit, gratitude and poise, adhering to the implemented rule. Predicted winner of Best Actress category is Natalie Portman. If her Golden Globes speech is anything to go by, (she thanked her parents for creating her and her partner for helping her to continue this great journey of life) then we’re in for a real sickeningly heart-felt treat.

Clothing is just as, if not more, important than the awards themselves. Valentino, Cavalli, Vivienne Westwood, Armani, etc. Ultimately, the Oscars are not just a showcase of dramatic talent; they are an exhibition of the world’s finest dresses and tuxedoes, making the world’s most beautiful beings even more gorgeously unattainable. Shock horror if anyone dared step beyond the designated designers deemed Oscar worthy or an unforeseeable disaster transpired in the form of two identical dresses. This year’s contest which sees aspiring designers competing for their dress to be worn at the ceremony highlights just how influential the Oscars are on not only the world of cinema but fashion also. The vivacity, character and at times lack of the clothes transforms the red carpet into the most diverse, controversial and relevant location for the year’s dramatics. It would seem that the 13 ½ inch gold encrusted Oscar would symbolize so much more than simply cinematic triumph.

BY CATRIONA BURNS

The opening track, ‘Beautiful Tonight’, establishes a slightly more up-tempo sound that runs throughout the album, most evident in ‘No One’s Gonna Sleep Tonight’, where the band’s usual romantically preoccupied lyrics are coupled with a more upbeat melody. These join ‘Difference in Me’ and ‘Tell Me it’s Love’ as the strongest tracks, again all retaining typical Westlife qualities but with a quicker and more experimental beat.

The closing track, ‘Too Hard to Say Goodbye’ is tremendously poignant and personable not least because it is sung, essentially, for two of the band members recently deceased fathers. The traditional Irish music that opens and closes the track only enhances its sentiment and raw emotion. It is a reminder of what Westlife do best; emotive, relatable, pure songs, with a good dose of lyrical Irish air. The title song from the album ‘Safe’ is descriptive of Gravity on the whole, but safe in this case was a wise choice. It will not earn them more fans but it will make their existing ones love them even more.

BY CATRIONA BURNS

The instant McGarry walks on stage, Guinness in hand, claiming that he is “now a better dancer than Michael Jackson”, before a pathetic moonwalk. It is clear that this show would be inundated with good old Norn Iron sarcasm and that McGarry wouldn’t be unwilling to let anything, or anyone involved in the past five thousand years, off the hook.

He assures us he wants to teach us about Irish history as there are some people who know absolutely nothing about it. He calls these people “Protestants”. It is this controversial comedic style that informs the entire act and is what characterises McGarry’s history lesson as new, distinctive and uniquely funny. His brazen approach to Irish history is refreshing following years when people were cautious about saying practically anything to strangers, fearful of its potential to offend. McGarry doesn’t seem to hold any such qualms-in fact, if the show doesn’t offend a large portion of the audience maybe it didn’t fulfil its purpose. Yes, be offended but then laugh.

The history lesson does not neglect QUB students in Ireland’s historical past, although perhaps not for the reasons we would hope. Recalling the Saint Patrick Day riots, he comments how the “nationalist officers were terrified as they witnessed students smash windows and set cars alight, while the old-hand RUC officers looked on with a sense of nostalgia”.

The show transforms the most troublesome times into comedy genius. The Famine, for instance, he tells his Protestant friends, was “a Trocaire fast that got out of hand”, and the 1916 Easter Rising was “caused by Cadbury reducing the size of crème eggs”. The act is not without moral undertones however. Mocking masked paramilitaries, McGarry comments, “you’re not scary, you’re a wanker in a mask”. Tim McGarry’s History Lesson mirrors the progress in Northern Ireland, everyone can laugh at this show (if you’re not Peter Robinson) and find humour in our history. Tim McGarry’s History Lesson centres around satirising sectarianism, and he makes no apologies for it, commenting; “Sectarianism – all the fun of racism with only a fraction of the guilt.”

BY CATRIONA BURNS

The workload is perhaps the most explicit downfall of the entire university experience. The bliss of summer makes us forget those gruelling early morning classes after a night out, and the mounting reading lists just one week into term. Our hopeful aspirations of working harder this year are often shattered and the difficulty of achieving the balance between studying and socialising is realised. We students have it hard.

Another downfall of resuming the student life is the malnutrition. Okay, slightly dramatic. However, almost four months spent in the luxury of our own homes gorging on home cooked meals or tasting the cuisine abroad, we are inevitably left with an appetite for something more substantial than Super Noodles. Granted, some will create culinary triumphs but for most students these are slightly out of our reach and suddenly Dominos is the most called number on our phone. Bad news for the bank balance and our stomachs.

The food is not the sole home comfort that is missed. House pride in student accommodation is normally out the window by the end of Freshers’ Week and we soon recognise the luxury in having a clean kitchen and having more than two clean cups to drink from.

But enough of the doom and gloom. Let’s stay positive and think of the array of advantages we get from student life. The student loan is one of the most obvious benefits of returning to university. For plenty of students the economic recession has meant a summer of unemployment, with many having to rely on parents and charitable grannies to create menial jobs for some cash. Enrolling for another academic year means there is money in the bank, for a few weeks anyway, and all without a day’s hard labour (until we have to repay it.) Being a student gives us a right to be unemployed without shame and our parents are proud.

Being back at class also implements some sense of routine into our lives following an unpredictable and chaotic few months away. Dull and mundane as it may sound there is something comforting in a regular pattern – even if it is only class every day at one in the afternoon or the Union every Monday night. Being back at university instils a sense of familiarity. The main part of this familiarity is the people we associate with at university. Everyone is back in the one place, which usually results in a month of heading out, all in the name of a catch-up.

A sense of freedom is restored as soon as you return to university. Relatively speaking, you can do whatever you like, within reason. Being at university means living in a house with friends, parties and a lot of mess which everyone soon accepts is never going away. The fact of the matter is: we aren’t going to be at university forever. We should see the work, hunger and mess as a small price to pay for what are supposedly the best and most memorable years of our lives.

Winner of this year’s Palme d’Or award in Cannes, Michael Haneke’s ‘The White Ribbon’ is set in a pre WW1 agricultural German village, where order, rule and discipline are absolute, and enforced by the village Baron and heavily imposed on a moral level by the harsh and stern Protestant pastor. However, the structure of harmonious village life seems to disintegrate with the horrific events that ensue, and the sense of order is soon revealed as corrupt or non-existent.

BY CATRIONA BURNS

The film opens as it means to go on with a dramatic and malicious incident. A carefully constructed wire trips the doctor’s horse and leaves him badly injured. This is the first of several mysterious episodes that occur in the village- the farmer’s wife is killed, a fire breaks out, a disabled child is tortured. With each of these acts a sense of punishment and retribution is implied – who is committing these crimes and why remains a mystery although at one point, it seems all will be revealed. Thus, the film is partly a psychological detective story, constantly questioning the sincerity of the village inhabitants. The fact that the culprits remain ominous is testament to the fabric of intrigue of the film and is characteristic of Haneke’s preference to make his audience work and implicate them within the story. Haneke seems to make his point no more frankly than in the white ribbon itself, which is tied around the Pastor’s children as a symbol of innocence and purity. This is indeed an ironic statement, enforced by those of who believe they know better, but as Haneke illustrates with the hypocrisy of this white ribbon, they are at the core of these brutal and malice happenings. ‘The White Ribbon’ is an intense, sinister and chilling piece of cinema which questions the capabilities of the human race and forces us to question who we can really trust.

The White Ribbon is now showing at the QFT.

www.queensfilmtheatre.com